Her Trust and His Heart
by FrostedIce
Summary: They say that forgiveness is an attribute of the strong; that the weak can never forgive. I won't admit that I'm weak. I'm not weak, and I'm going to show them what I'm made of.
1. Chapter 1

**Preface**

Never in all my eighteen years of life have I ever seen a beautiful night like this one. Before me, the half-moon shines brightly and the stars glisten; a long sigh escapes my lips and I lean back against the soft grass. This is my last night as a student at Hogwarts. I sigh once more. Why is it so complicated? I can't lie to myself anymore than I could lie to one of my friends, but months ago, I would have pissed myself with the happiness at the thought of leaving…but, I'm already missing the damn school. Closing my eyes, I'm tempted to pray to whoever'll listen – why can't you just strike Voldemort down? I'm sure he'd just go and leave us alone, but all that has to be done is a simple strike and our world could once again be peaceful. Merlin, it was only yesterday that Liz and I were sitting out here, arguing about who was more attractive: Dumbledore or Filch? Our excuse, of course, is that we were only eleven. Suddenly, I begin laughing so hard that my stomach starts to hurt. Something wet slides down my cheek and only then, do I truly realize that I have been crying the entire time.

Great; here I am, sitting near the Black Lake, in my pajamas, crying. If only Lily could see me: _"Addie, you know that's not proper."_ Ah, but she's probably in a corner, somewhere in the common room, snogging James. Bleh. No, I'm happy for them! Really. They're like a gift from Merlin and no, I'm not at all bitter. I'm just pissed because James chases after this single girl for _four bloody years_ and only now, does she decide to give him a chance. It doesn't make sense to me. Anyway, I'm not going to let Lily goddamn Evans ruin my last night at home. A cool breeze sweeps past me and I shiver.  
I sigh a heavy sigh before closing my eyes and drown myself in memory of this past year at Hogwarts.

Gryffindors' winning streak in Quidditch. John breaking my arm in our fourth year by hitting the Quaffle toward me. Sirius and I going to try-outs our first time, together.

Late night visits to the kitchen with Remus.

Liz, signing a contract to open her own business when she leaves school.

Peter bolstering up his courage and asking a girl out.

Sirius, finally getting up the gall to break up with Harper.

"Addie?" A soft voice breaks into my thoughts. No, his voice isn't particularly _soft_, but it is alluring. I'd know it anywhere. When I didn't say anything, the voice sits down beside me and begins to rub my back. "Addie, love, it's too cold for you out here."

Groaning quietly to myself, I turn to face him, "Happy now?" I know he just wants me to give my attention to him.

He smirks and kisses me quickly on the lips. "Yes. Come here." I try to resist stubbornly, but it only seems like my body won't allow it. Before I know it, I'm wrapped in his protective arms and he kisses my forehead. "Relax," he coaxes and I relax instantly under his gentle touch. "What're you doing out here?"

I bury my head in the crook of his arm. "I just wanted to be alone."

"Oh, so would you rather have me leave?"

He was teasing me just to annoy me. "Yes, please, you ruin the moonlight."

He chuckled. "Nice sarcasm, Addie."

"Even better sarcasm, love."

His eyebrows furrow. "Why won't you say my name?"

"Because, Liz and I made a bet that I wouldn't say it until we leave the school."

"I bet you're thinking my name, though." And when I don't reply, he asks, "Why did the two of you make this bet, anyway?"

I sigh, because I really hate explaining things and I'm sure that he knows this, "Because, I _apparently_ say your name too much."

This seems to amuse him and he puffs his chest out importantly, "Really?"

I roll my eyes and sigh dramatically. "Don't let your head get _too_ big."

"Impossible." He says. "After all, I have you to deflate it for me ever-so-often."

"Yeah, alright…" I avert my gaze from his eyes to the moon. I know I may sound like a sap, but the moon really is beautiful and…mildly romantic.

"The moon makes your eyes look bluer." I look past my shoulder to see him staring intensely at me. It's like he's trying to figure something out something about me. "You're scared." It isn't a question. He leans down and presses his face into my hair. "Don't be afraid, I'm with you." Something inside me clicks. My whole body gets weak and my heart feels like it's splitting in two. How can he be so sure about us? How?

The mere thought of us breaking up and never speaking again scares the hell out of me. "How can you be so sure?" I whisper, as if the world could hear me.

His arms tighten around me. "Addie, stop thinking about the future so much."

"I can't…" My voice cracks slightly and I hold onto him fiercely.

His hand begins stroking my hair. He doesn't say anything but only comforts me. I don't know how the hell he does it, but it's like he can tell my emotions without even talking to me. It's damn annoying, really. I feel him shift and turn to look at him questioningly. "I want to see something." He says quietly and I notice a hint of scarlet on his cheeks. "Turn around." I obey hesitantly and turn to face him; he kisses me lightly on the lips before moving to my back.

"W-What're you doing?" I ask.

His cold and gentle fingers grasp the end of my shirt and pull it up slowly in the back; goosebumps rise up on my skin where his fingers traced along my back. He gasps slightly. "What is it?" I inquire.

His voice comes out in a whisper. "Your tattoo, it looks amazing in the moonlight." His fingers, so light that it feels like he isn't actually touching me, caressing the fierce dragon that covers the majority of my back; it's like he's worshiping me and his hands come to rest on my shoulders. Then, he starts massaging my shoulders and a whimper escapes my lips; my eyes close. The hair falling on my shoulder is pushed away and he begins to kiss me from my shoulder to my neck. Becoming impatient, I turn my head to his and our mouths connect passionately. His hands pull me fiercely close to him and as his arms find their place around my body, my hands tangle themselves in his beautiful hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**An) I know this is quite different from the previous chapter, but that chapter was the Preface :) Remember to review!**

* * *

Have you ever had that sickening feeling that someone is standing behind you, glaring at you so fiercely that you wonder why you aren't dead yet? Yeah, it's not a good feeling. Especially, when you know that the person has been your best mate for the past seven years; let's ignore the fact that you haven't bothered speaking to her in say oh, two or three months. I repeat: it's not a good feeling. So what did I do? Ignored her. At least, until she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Liz asked quietly, pulling away to look at me, her warm brown eyes sad.

My chest tightened. Yet, I still shrugged, trying to give an air of nonchalance. "Didn't want to bother you. Besides, it was only a few months until I'd be back here." I motioned around the dormitory. Here's the story: not long after I came back from my sixth year here at Hogwarts, I got into a horrible row with my guardians. They apparently think it's wrong for a young female to get a tattoo covering most of her back, so, I was booted out of the house. Hey, I'm not complaining. I mean, would you complain when your aunt (mum's sister) and her uncle are so wrapped up in their own daughter that they probably don't even know your name? Yeah, I should be thankful for them because not many people would take in a child that's not theirs in; but I'm not. They would always put their daughter, Katelyn (who is actually a nice person), first. It's like I was an orphan (which I actually was), like I was a red-headed orphan - that's better. The fact that they kicked me out only pissed me off more. I felt abandoned; them abandoning me seemed to bring back memories of my mum dying when I was twelve and my father being sent to Azkaban for her murder.

Liz sighed and sat on my bed while I continued unpacking. "You know mum wouldn't mind you staying with us," she said in a small voice. I dropped the clothes I was about to throw on the floor, and looked at Liz, not knowing what to say.

Finally, I sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her. "I know that. I just didn't want to burden you all." _Plus, your family doesn't have the means to feed another mouth, _I thought to myself.

Liz gave me the I-so-want-to-be-angry-with-you-right-now look before hugging me. I returned the hug immediately; I missed her. A lot. We broke apart and I surveyed her. Her long, dark-brown hair now came mid-stomach. Two yellow streaks (representing Hufflepuff, probably) framed her round face. Her deep-brown eyes looked at me, concerned.

"Come on," I groaned. "Don't look at me like that!"

She gave me a sly look. "Does James know?" James Potter was another close friend, but I didn't think that he would hold back his anger if I had told him about my current circumstances.

"Know what?" I asked innocently.

"Addie!"

"Liz!"

She took a breath. "Does he know that you were homeless for three months?" Ouch. It seemed all right for the truth to be unspoken, but having it said aloud was a really smack across the face. If I could see myself in the mirror, I'd say I'd gone a few shades paler.

It's one thing having your best mate pissed at you, but having your like-a-brother friend pissed at you suddenly seemed a lot scarier. "Uh, no, I don't think so." I gave her a _look_. "And you're not going to tell him."

She stood. "No. _You're_ going to. I have a Prefects meeting to attend." She walked to the door. "See you, Addie."

"Sure," I grumbled. Well, one friend down, and a few more to go.

* * *

We had been back at Hogwarts for a week. The only people that knew about me being homeless were Liz and myself. I didn't have the courage to tell anyone else (yeah, it really suited a Gryffindor, right?). Liz kept trying to push me into telling James; I kept giving her excuses, "He's frustrated with Quidditch practice" "We haven't really got around to catching up" or "He's too busy with Evans". It wasn't that I was afraid of his anger (trust me, we've been in plenty of rows) I just didn't want to see the disappointment reflected in his eyes. If there was one thing I hated, it was disappointing someone that I cared about.

I walked as slow as humanly possible towards my third period: Professor McGonagall's class. She didn't like me, and quite frankly, the feeling was mutual. However, walking slowly didn't seem to go over very well when I heard a voice behind me, "Addie! Wait up!"

I bit my lip in anger and began walking faster. My short legs failed me as a strong hand grabbed my forearm. "What the hell? Can't you hear?"

I turned my head to glare. Sirius Goddamn Black. He towered over me, making me feel like a small ant. His black, curly hair framed his rather pale face and his gray eyes looked down at me, glaring. I wondered why he would want to talk to me. Sure, we use to be closer than Liz and I, but that was all history, now. And currently, he was really pissing me off.

I pulled my arm out of his grasp. "Sorry. The next time you yell 'jump' I'll yell 'how high?' would you like that?"

I started to walk off, but he blocked my path. "Look, I'm sorry. My third period got changed, and...well, I'm in McGonagall's third period, now."

"And you want to talk to me, why?"

He sighed impatiently. Apparently, I'm already supposed to know. Sorry Sirius, not all of us can hide our stupidity behind amazing hair - or read minds, for that matter. "McGonagall told me that you're in in the class, so you can walk me."

What the hell? He's been here six years! What's wrong with him walking himself to the damn class? "Would you like me to change your diaper, too?" I asked.

He glowered down at me. "You're the only other Gryffindor in that period."

I had a strange feeling that it wasn't the only reason he wanted me to walk him to class. "Did you and Harper break-up?" They break-up, oh, about once a week. He didn't say anything. "You're trying to make her jealous, aren't you?" Now it all seemed obvious. He and Harper broke up. She's in my third period. Why Sirius got his timetable changed, though, I couldn't make out.

Sirius sighed. "Are you going to walk me or not?"

If I could raise an eyebrow, this would have been the moment I'd do it. "You do know I have a boyfriend, right? You know, the Ravenclaw Quidditch Cap-"

"Yeah, the git who broke your arm in fourth year. How could I forget?" Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone before I could figure it out.

"Tell me why you changed your timetable and I'll walk you to class _and _change your diaper."

"_I _didn't change the timetable. McGonagall gave me a new one."

I was about to ask why she would do that when, suddenly, I recognized that we were alone; classes had already started. Sirius apparently just noticed it too, because he cursed under his breath.

I glared at him. "I'll walk you to class. But you owe me, asshole."

We both walked to the door and I opened it, stepping in. Professor McGonagall stopped mid-speech and looked at Sirius and me before sighing. "You're both late. Please take your seats and remember to come here for detention after classes are over. Also, ten points from Gryffindor."

"But we have Quidditch practice afterwards!" I said cried indignantly. Sirius was about to also protest, but McGonagall cut him off.

"Then, you'll have to talk with your Captain, Miss Zamore. Now, _please_ have a seat or I will have to add another day of detention to your ever-growing list."

I glared at Sirius before sitting in the empty seat beside the window. Sirius sat beside me and mouthed 'sorry' before looking at Harper; she glared at both of us.

I groaned inwardly before leaning my head on the window. 

* * *

Lunch couldn't have come faster. As it turned out, Sirius' schedule was nearly the same as mine; he no longer took Potions. Many girls would've died if they had Sirius Black in most of their classes, but that is definitely not me. I felt like my privacy was somehow invaded. The funny thing was, he didn't seem to be too concerned about being in most of his classes with me; he did cringe though, when I screamed after he showed me his timetable during our fourth period. Yeah, that's about the only reaction I got out of him.

Walking to the Great Hall, I noticed a figure in Ravenclaw robes in front of me: John Puma. We began dating mid-sixth year. I think one of the main reason I was so attracted to him is because he reminded me of my former boyfriend and close friend, Remus Lupin. He and I dated our fifth year secretively; James would've died if he'd known. Remus was there for me when Sirius and I got into a pretty nasty row. But, anyways, enough about Remus, John was a Prefect from Ravenclaw, (the captain of the aforementioned house's quidditch team, and an aspiring Healer.

Walking up behind him, I laced my fingers through his. "I like watching you walk from behind."

He looked down at me and laughed. "Shouldn't I say that?"

I laughed. "Sexist pig."

He chuckled and brought me closer so him as we walked. "How has your day been?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sirius is now in most of my classes. I think I've said enough."

John laughed. "You're too hard on him."

My eyes widened. "You just defended someone who loathes you!" I exclaimed.

He shrugged and smiled down at me. "Doesn't mean I have to loathe him, does it?" _Yes, _I was tempted to say, _it sure as hell does. _

I didn't say anything until we walked to the Gryffindor table. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all sat there, immersed in conversation. I stopped and turned to John. "I'm going to sit here today," I said, giving him a peck on the lips, ignoring James' gagging sounds behind me.

He smiled. "See you later?"

I was about to say _yes _until I was interrupted by a voice behind me. "No, Puma. We have detention tonight."

I turned, glaring at Sirius and nearly drawing my wand. "Mind your own business, Sirius!"

He shrugged and smirked. "Just stating the obvious."

I turned to John, he was frowning. "I was late for class," I said nonchalantly. He rolled his eyes, smiled, and walked off, telling me he'd see me later. I sat down beside Remus, opposite James. Remus smiled at me, his brown eyes twinkling. I was about to ask what was so funny when James threw a roll at me.

I threw it back before asking, "What was that for?"

James' hazel eyes tried to glare at me, but failed. He ran his hand threw his raven-colored hair before sighing. "We're having try-outs today."

I began putting food in my plate. "I know."

"You and Sirius just had to get a detention today, didn't you?"

"You know it."

He groaned. "What am I going to do?"

I sighed. "Just switch it to tomorrow."

"The Hufflepuffs are having theirs tomorrow."

Peter piped up. "Why don't Sirius and Addie just try-out tomorrow or something?"

"You know," I said slowly, "that's not such a bad idea."

Sirius spoke up. "But can we do that?"

James smiled, hit Peter on the back, and slammed his first on the table, causing my drink to spill on my mashed potatoes. Damn. "I'm the Captain and I say we can!"

I raised my half-empty cup. "Here, here!"

"Sirius and Adds," Merlin, I hate that nickname, "meet me at the Quidditch tomorrow morning at five."

"What?!" Sirius and I both yelled.

James stood up. "Don't complain. This is what you both get for getting a detention."

I threw a spoon-full of mashed potatoes at Sirius, hitting him on the nose. "This is all your fault."

He flipped me off.


	3. Chapter 3

After lunch, I had two free periods. It was usually my time to nap or finish last-minute homework, but for some reason, I didn't feel like going all the way back to the girls' dorm. So, I walked out to the Black Lake.

It was probably one of my favorite places at Hogwarts. I'm usually not a calm and collected person, like Liz, but sitting beside the Lake, just watching the water move slowly, seemed to give me some peace of mind. I sat down beside my favorite beech tree. It's my favorite because it's, well, huge and easy to spot. Leaning against the heavy bark, I closed my eyes, recounting memories that happened around the tree; Sirius leaving me (sleeping) out here in fourth year to talk to his then-girlfriend, Harper; the whole ordeal with Evans and Snape; my first kiss with Remus -- all of that seemed so distant, so out of my reach. Not that I would want to cling to Evans and Snape's used-to-be friendship, or anything.

"You know, it's not safe to fall asleep outside, especially here."

I open my eyes to see Liz, hands on her hips, smiling down at me. "Hello to you, too." I moved over a little and motioned for her to sit beside me. She obliged, threw her bag down and dug into it, eventually pulling out some sketches.

"Are those new?" I asked tentatively, eyeing the drawings.

Liz nodded. "Yeah, I sketched them last night. Here, take a look at them." She handed them over to me and I began flipping through them, looking at each sketch carefully. Sketches of blouses, dress robes, trousers, trainers, bags. I gazed at the sketches with envy. Liz was known for her artistic abilities; she was known for painting sunflowers, and sketching caricatures. She planned on opening up her own clothing store after she graduated. She had this idea of designing and creating Muggle clothes of the twenty-first century. At first, I was wary of the idea. I mean, why would a witch or wizard want to wear Muggle-like clothes? Then Liz showed me her sketches and shared her ideas with me - I loved everything.

I handed the sketches back to her. "Those are amazing, as usual."

She didn't bother to blush at my compliment, but just smiled dreamily. "I can't wait to get my own business started, you know? I can take care of the kids then." The kids were, of course, Liz's three brothers and single sister. They were all younger than her, and she had been taking care of them ever since her dad died when she was fourteen. The family had been left helpless, poor and Liz had done everything in her power to make sure they were able to meet ends meet. Her mother had no real education, so she wasn't much of a help when it came to making money.

"You take care of them now," I reminded her.

"I know. I just want a better life for them. Did I tell you that Daniel and Darren are already showing signs of magic?" Her voice took on a much sadder tone. I knew not to mention anything about it to her, because she hated being questioned, but I shook my head at her question. "Yeah, Daniel turned Jane's hair blue, and Darren levitated the couch. Mum was ecstatic."

"What about Jane?" Her ten year-old sister, Jane, always reminded me so much of Liz; she was like the third mum in their household.

"If she's showing any signs, I don't know about it."

We sat in silence for a while after that. It was no secret that Liz, sweet and caring Liz, was a pacifist. I remember she would always cry back when I got into a lot of trouble during class. She hated yelling and fighting; absolutely detested it. It was one of the main reasons she seemed to have a dislike for magic. Not that she didn't like who she was, of course, she just didn't like using magic for defensive purposes. I've questioned her plenty of times on the matter, but she always responded with the same thing: "We should use our magic for prosperity." I never hid my annoyance. A lot of the time, her pacifist ways got my arse in trouble; I was always the one to defend her and fight, which, she would later lecture me over. I didn't care how many times I got lectured; nobody picked on my friends without experiencing some dire consequences.

"So...how's your boyfriend?" I asked nonchalantly, forgetting the name of her boyfriend of two years. Yes, I am forgetful.

She laughed at my stupidity. "Ronald?" Her voice took on a dreamy tone. "He's great; we're great."

"He hasn't tried to pressure you into anything, has he?"

"No," she gasped, amusement on her face. "Why would you think that?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering."

After a while, Liz stood. "I've got to get to Muggle Studies."

I shook my head. "I'll never understand why you take a Muggle Studies class when you're Muggle-born."

She laughed and shrugged. "Addie, you'll never understand a lot of things."

I chose not to reply to that, instead I nudged her with my foot. "Don't think I'll forget about your birthday," I reminded her.

"You never do." I could sense a little pride in her tone. Her mum usually forgot her birthdays, so I always made sure to throw her a birthday party. Liz told me she'd see me later (I dryly reminded her she probably wouldn't, I'd be in detention), and left. I sighed and leaned against the tree once more, closing my eyes, bloody dreading the afternoon I'd have to spend with Sirius.

　  
Detention came sooner than I expected. I over-napped after Liz left, and was late for Potions. Slughorn seemed to be in a rather good mood, so I didn't get another detention, thank Merlin. After classes were over, I walked up to the girls' dorms, changed out of my rooms robes, put my hair up, and walked down to the common room to wait on Sirius. He never mentioned anything about us walking to detention together, but I assumed we would, considering we did every other time we had detention together.

He never showed up. It was five minutes before our detention began, and he was going to be late. I battled whether I should wait for him or go on and deal with McGonagall. I decided on the latter. I walked out of the common room, accidentally knocking over a younger girl. "Watch where you're going, Zamore," she snapped at me. Her black hair and green eyes reminded me of someone, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"You watch where I'm going," I retorted stupidly. "Wait- how do you know my last name?"

She rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't have time for this. I have to get to Quidditch tryouts." With a flick of her hair, she walked away. I was tempted to whip out my wand and Petrificus Totalus her little arse, but I decided against it. Just by looking at her, I knew she'd probably tattle on me and honestly, I didn't think I needed another detention.

Trying to calm myself down by mentally saying the alphabet to myself, I began making my way to McGonagall's room. Both Sirius and myself being late was going to piss her off pretty badly. At least I wasn't the only one late. I came up to her room and knocked. I heard a distinct "come in" before walking in. McGonagall didn't look happy. Her bun been must've too tight or something. "You're late," she snapped.

"I know." Way to state the obvious. "What about Sirius? By the looks of it, he's going to be later than what I was."

"Mr. Black arrived here five minutes early." What? I must have heard her wrong. Sirius arriving early for detention? That was like saying you were excited about going to detention! As if on cue, Sirius stood from a table (how I didn't notice him before, I'll never know) and walked over to us.

"You're kidding?"

"No, Miss Zamore, I am not." We stood in silence until McGonagall held out her hands. "You two will be cleaning the trophies in the trophy room, _without magic,_ Muggle style. Hand over your wands." I was about to object, but thought it better not to. Both Sirius and I handed over our wands, and neither of us said a word. "Good," McGonagall nodded. "Now, when you two are finished cleaning the trophies, your detention will be over. Follow me." She led us to the trophy room.

Sirius and I walked in the room, McGonagall stayed at the door. "I'm locking this door so neither of you will leave," she informed us.

"But, how we you know when we're finished?" Sirius asked.

"That is not your concern, Mr. Black." She then shut the door, and a clicking sound confirmed that she had locked it.

I turned to Sirius. "Why did you show up early?" I asked suspiciously, trying not to let my bubbling anger get the best of me.

He shrugged and began cleaning a trophy with the cleaning utensils McGonagall left us. "I knew you'd wait on me in the common room, so I decided to show up early."

"Just to annoy me and get me in trouble for being late?"

"Pretty much." That earned him a hard punch on the shoulder. He gasped and moved away from me.

We began cleaning the trophies in silence. Soon, my hands began to cramp, so I stopped cleaning long enough to rest them. "What do you see in him?" Sirius asked suddenly, not even bothering to look at me.

"Who? John?" I knew who he was talking about. It was obvious to everyone that Sirius hated John and didn't approve of our relationship. He didn't talk to me for weeks when he first found out that we were together. Sirius had hated John ever since he had accidentally broken my arm in a Quidditch match our fourth year -- he had apologized, and had even quit playing Quidditch, but Sirius still insisted on hating him.

"No, Remus," Sirius replied sarcastically. I bit my tongue. I had almost let it slip that I actually _had_ dated Remus, but I figured that it wouldn't be beneficial to anyone if Sirius threw another fit. "Yes, John."

I shrugged. "I dunno." I then realized just how bad that might sound and tried to cover it up. "I mean, he's caring, sweet, and a real gentleman - who wouldn't like that?"

"I was thinking you." Sirius chose then to look at me. I felt strangely naked, as his eyes found mine. "He doesn't seem like your type."

"What do you know about my type?" I snapped.

"I know that you don't like the marrying type."

"Marrying type?"

It was then his turn to grow impatient. "You know what he's going to want after we leave Hogwarts."

"A good shag?" I tried to ask innocently, knowing it would piss Sirius off.

His jaw clenched and he began cleaning the trophy in his hand a little rougher. "Forget about it."

I was purposefully avoiding the subject he tried to bring up. Of course I knew John would want marriage after graduation, he was the type of guy that would. Sirius knew that marriage was something I was terrified of. I hated the thought of living and being devoted to only one person my entire life. Not that I would be a slag or anything like that- I was just scared of commitment.

We didn't speak anymore after that, which I was thankful for. Knowing Sirius, he probably would've brought up having children, another thing I'm terrified of. When we were finished, the door unlocked and McGonagall walked in, handed both of us our wands and telling told us not to make any detours on our way back to the common room. Really, like we were going to go to the nearest broom closest and shag. Sirius and I walked in silence. Surprisingly, it wasn't an awkward silence but a comfortable one. I said the password as we approached the Fat Lady and she swung her portrait open, allowing us into the Gryffindor Common Room. James, Remus and Peter were sitting on the sofa nearest to the fireplace. When we walked up to them, I took my place in the recliner while Sirius leaned against the arm of it.

"How did tryouts go?" I asked, immediately regretting the question when I saw the expression on James' face. He looked worn out and…scared? "Was it that bad?"

Giggles came from the stairs and I looked over to see the little girl I bumped into earlier. James stood, shifting nervously. "Er, Addie, I have to tell you something," he said.

"What?" I asked rather lazily.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Sarah here," he gestured toward the girl, who smirked, "has replaced you as our Seeker."

* * *

**AN) Before I say anything else, I want to thank my amazing beta, Tanya! :) Really, she is quite an amazing beta and second-brain. Now, this is officially beta'd! Please review :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"No, she hasn't" was the first words to escape my mouth. I said them quickly, mechanically, refusing to believe that one of my closest friends would give something that is _mine_-something I worked hard for and deserved-to someone that probably didn't know her arse from a hole in the ground. No, James would never do that. I shook my head repeatedly, ignoring the eyes that stared at me around the common room. "She hasn't replaced me."

James surveyed the room. "Look," he hissed, hazel eyes warning me to keep my mouth shut, "we're not having this conversation _here_." But I wasn't listening to him, I didn't even fully process a word he said. Instead, I was glaring at the raven-haired she-devil behind him. She smirked a smirk I knew too well and I immediately knew where I had seen it before: Harper Cooper, ex-girlfriend of Sirius. It was that realization that sent me pouncing toward her. I didn't even think about the consequences; didn't care, honestly. Just before my hands could wrap themselves in her hair, a strong arm wrapped itself around my waist and jerked me toward something rock-hard. I winced at the pain that went through my waist and back. I tried to fight but found it useless.

"Let got of me!" I yelled. Sarah, the she-devil, continued smirking as she walked up to the dorms-but I could've sworn I seen a wariness in her expression.

James came forward and grasped my kicking feet. "We'll let go of you," -he gritted his teeth-,"when you stop acting nutters."

I looked straight into his eyes, trying to convey the emotions I felt and make him feel guilty. All I got was anger and annoyance-but he strong grip loosened on my legs. I took a few deep breaths to prove that I was sane, and James released his hold on my feet. The arm around my waist lingered for a moment before leaving its place. Sirius stepped from behind me and I could tell he was also angry at James, but the depth of his anger didn't run as deep as mine. Wordlessly, James, Sirius, and I walked up to the boys' dorm. When we got there, James locked the door and turned to me. Before he could say anything, Sirius grasped my forearm and lead me across the room, away from James. "This will only take a second," he told James, giving me a warning look that told me to keep my mouth shut.

Our faces were dangerously close, but he didn't seem to mind. I tried to pull myself out of his grasp. "I don't think my boyfriend would approve of such a close proximity," I said dryly, but his grasp remained firm. "Okay," I snapped, "what do you want?"

"Listen to James and don't interuppt him," he said simply. "I know you, Addie. You have no idea how hard it was on him to make the decision."

"You don't seem to like the decision," I snapped.

"Of course I don't like the bloody decision! All I want you to do is to not give James hell over it, okay?"

Sadly, I knew where he was coming from. He knew all to well how I would react and, luckily, he called me out before I could make James feel even worse over it. But that didn't stop the anger that rose up in me. Or the sense of betrayal I felt toward James. No, nothing could stop it. Without saying a word to Sirius, I jerked my arm from his grasp and walked over to James. We simply stared at one another for a few minutes, both willing the other to speak first.

Finally, I gave in. "Why did you do it?" It was meant to come out in a snarl, but the words sounded more like a hopeless whisper. I couldn't look at James. I willed myself not to. He knew how much I valued being the star Seeker on our House team, and he stole it from me. He stole it and gave it to someone I loathes sibling. My chest tightened and I sat down in the nearest bed, forcing myself to hold the tears back.

James sighed and sat beside me. "I did it because, well, she's a good Seeker."

"And I'm not?" I snapped.

"No, you are. Look at it this way, Adds: Sarah has a few years to become a better Seeker and it's a good idea for her to start now. It'll benefit the team in the long run."

"I wouldn't have done that to you," I said, turning toward him.

He had the decency to look ashamed. He ran his hand through his messy black hair. "I was only being fair."

This sparked something inside me. "Fair? You aren't a damn Hufflepuff, James! How is that fair, anyway?" I nearly yelled.

"It's fair because I'm giving someone else a shot at being a Seeker."

"When they have no real experience? When they aren't one of your closest friends? When they wouldn't have done that for you if they were in your position?" I burst out. "I worked my arse off to become the best Seeker possible!" I didn't have to look at him to know Sirius was giving me a death glare. "And now you've taken that away!"

"Oh, cut the damn dramatics, Addie," Sirius snapped.

"This has nothing to do with you, Sirius! Keep your ungodly mouth out of it!" I flung a pillow at him, hitting him in the face.

He was about to retaliate when James stood between us. "Stop it!" He roared. "Look, Addie, you are no longer our Seeker, and that's that. We have a position for a Chaser open if you'd like that. Take it or leave it." And with those final words, he unlocked the door and left me with Sirius. I expected him to leave, but he stayed put, glaring at me.

"What's wrong with you?" He blurted.

"What do you mean?" I asked defensively.

He started to sit beside me, but decided better and sat on the bed opposite me. Running his hand through his black curls, he sighed. "I dunno. You just act so different from the previous years we've had here." He seemed like he truly wanted to know if something was wrong with me, earnestly. For some reason, this made me slightly uncomfortable. My days with heart to hearts with Sirius were long gone; at least, that's what I assumed. When I didn't say anything, he pressed on, "It's not Puma, is it?"

Surprising both of us, I laughed. "Why do you always assume it's something with John? No, my moodiness and temper-tantrums have nothing to do with John."

"Then what is making you moody and temperamental?"

The moment the words left his mouth, I knew I couldn't answer. I didn't even like admitting what was wrong with me to myself, and I sure as hell wasn't about to say anything to Sirius; even though I knew I could trust him. "Nothing is making me that way," I tried to assure him. "It comes natural, really."

He stared at me for a few minutes. "It has nothing to do with what happened between us during our fourth year, does it?" I froze inside. He knew me too well. Sirius and I used to be closer than Liz and me. Fourth year came and our friendship began deteriorating; he traded time with me for his then girlfriend, Harper. During the final Quidditch match of the year, John, then Ravenclaw Beater, accidentally sent a Bludger flying at my arm, breaking it. I woke up later that day in the infirmary, my arm bandaged and Sirius' head lying at my feet. He immediately woke up and we spoke for a few minutes; he told me about what happened after the match. Our speaking lead to Sirius trying to kiss me, but I rejected him. He stormed out of the Hospital Wing. I later went to the boys' dorm to find him drunk- how he got his hands on alcohol, I'll never know- he tried snogging me, threw insults at me, and showed me a completely different Sirius. After that, our conversations were awkward, and I couldn't help the hostility I felt toward him.

"Addie? You there?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I addressed the question. "No, it has nothing to do with that," I lied easily. "I've just been stressed." It wasn't a complete lie since I was under a lot of stress.

His eyes told me he didn't believe me, but he said, "Okay then." The door opened and Remus and Peter entered. Both felt the tension in the room, Remus stayed while Peter said something about having to finish schoolwork and going to the library.

Remus looked between us, a quizzical expression on his face. "Everything all right?"

I smiled, but before I could say anything, Sirius spoke, "Yeah, we were just discussing the Potions paper due next week." He stood. "I think I'll meet up with Wormtail." He left without another word.

Remus took his spot beside me and wrapped an arm around me. "I'm not going to ask anything because I have a pretty good idea about what you two were talking about."

"Fourth year."

It wasn't a question, but he answered anyway, "Yeah."

"You're very intuitive," I said dryly. He chuckled. "Did you hear about Harper's sister replacing me as Seeker?" I asked tentatively, curious to know who said what.

He sighed. "Yes."

"Who told you?"

"Lily did."

I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't surprise me." Lily was someone I didn't like simply because she didn't seem to care about breaking James' heart over and over again. She wasn't there when he was near giving up on love.

I stood. "I'm going to the dorm." We exchanged good-byes and I left for my dorm.

I laid facedown on my bed, trying to drown out the chatter of Lily, Harper, Alice, and Dorcas around me. Really, all they talked about was girl talk and boys. Someone kicked my bed and my head snapped up. "Heard you nearly fought my sister today," Harper hissed.

I rolled so I was on my side, smirking. "Nearly."

"Look, Zamore, you can pick on me all you want, but do not mess with my sister or you will be sorry."

"I'm terrified," I drawled.

"Yeah? Well, you sho-"

"Addie!" I froze, the smirk immediately leaving my face. No, I did not just hear that voice. No. The door shut and I closed my eyes, hoping the voice I heard was only part of my imagination. "Addie!" Yes, it was only part of my imagination. The moment I knew it wasn't my imagination: when a body was suddenly on top of me.

Blonde hair suffocated me. I tried to push the body off me, but found it hard since my arms were pinned under the petite body. She finally got off me and smiled. Jessica Bryant. My cousin. "Addie, I've been so worried about you!" I knew the words were true. Harper snickered and left to talk to the group of girls. But Lily, as always, had to stick her nose in it. "I'm assuming you're Jessica Bryant?" She smiled and put out her hand for Jess to shake. "I'm Lily." She introduced everyone else while I screamed into my pillow.

When she was finished, I looked at Jess. "How about we go down to the common room? So we can catch up?"

Apparently, Jess had been worried sick ever since I left the house. She mentioned that her mum and dad were also worried, but I didn't pay much attention to that. I expressed how shocked I was that she stood up to them since she had a history of being quiet and weak, and she told me how she stood up to them. She begged them to allow her to transfer to Hogwarts and they finally relented. I couldn't believe it. Her mum and dad may have been horribly strict and uptight, but she was always sweet and caring, never said anything out of line. I felt something stir in me at the thought of her taking up for me against her uptight parents. It felt nice to have someone on my side. Her blue eyes lit up when she spoke of how she grew a backbone. I think they grew brighter when I told her that I was proud of her. She smiled brightly and caught me up on everything I missed out on. Finally, we walked back up to the dorm and I helped her unpack her things and get settled in.

Before we went to bed, I asked to see her timetable. Turned out it was her timetable that Sirius switched with.

I laid down and sleep found me in no time.


End file.
